Why it’s not always good to call yourself a perfectionist

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“A perfectionist is a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection.”  

This definition is courtesy of Google.

For years, I struggled with mental health issues before I worked hard and became stable on my mental health recovery journey.  I like to call myself a “recovering perfectionist”.

I refer to myself a “recovering perfectionist” because in many situations that I found myself in, every detail, and circumstance had to be perfect; even pristine in my mind before I could even think about acting or making a move.  I would never in a million years start on a task when all the variables were not up to standard.

Here is the thing about this situation, perfectionism was a mask for my fear.

 I was afraid of what people would say, if potential customers would buy from me, or if I would even produce work that I was proud of.   I tried to make the blow less harsh by packaging it up and calling myself a “perfectionist” so that I would not have to face that fact that I was scared to death to do anything that exposed myself and my talents to the world.

 I needed constant reassurance and did not trust myself.


Being a perfectionist was ruining my life and shattering my dreams.  

I was so fearful and afraid that I made the word perfectionist my crutch for so many years.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I do take great care in my work and presentation.

I do like for things to look a certain way, but I am okay with trying my hardest and doing the very best that I can.  My keen eye and strong attention to detail will not allow me to produce subpar work.

I am no longer a perfectionist, nor do I have the desire to call myself one. It represents my fear and inactivity and I want to be as far away from fear as I possibly can.

These days, I am much more content with producing the best work that I can and listening to my intuition.  

When I stop to listen to myself, I get many of the answers and direction that I need. There is no room for fear.  

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Here are a couple of things that I did to overcome the perfectionist in me.

1.      Listen to myself.  It may sound like a simple thing, but I take time to be still.  I find that when I take to sit with myself, I get many answers (that I may not even be looking for).

2.      Do my best. I know the quality of my work.  I produce high quality work, so I know that when I create something it will be my best effort.  I take great pride in knowing that. I can be okay with saying “I did my best”.

3.      Just do it.  When I have an idea to I feel like I am called to do something, now I just go for it before I talk myself out of it and I like for 85 excuses for why I cannot do it and why it cannot be done.

4.      Don’t beat myself up.  I am learning on how to be more forgiving and gentler with myself.  I no longer beat myself up when something does not work or comes out not as I expected to.  I just tell myself, that it will be okay, and I must keep it moving.


These are just a few of the ways that I was able to combat the inner perfectionist that was ruining my life.  

I am so glad that I was able to kick that behavior to the curb. I have noticed such a big change in life and in my business since I have done so.  I hope that these tips will help you.

By Andrienne Kennedy

For more information on mental health, mental illness and wellness please visit IG @beautifulbraincollective or www.beautifulbraincollective.com



Self Care is more than a Bubble Bath

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This Month on My Instagram, we are talking about REAL Self Care.

Yes, Bubble Baths, Massages and Pedicures are important to maintain yourself as a woman, but the truest self care starts in the MIND.

This month, the M.A.D.E. Series starts its first installations to help you to create REAL Self Care.

What is M.A.D.E?

M- Get your Mind Right. Start with the Head.

Getting your mind right starts with addressing the issues in your head that keep you from becoming the HIGHEST version of yourself; e.g anxiety, depression, negative self talk.

Mental health is an area that creates a large amount of stigma in our society.

If you have areas in your mind that keep you from operating at your highest potential, address these areas IMMEDIATELY.

A- Get your Attitude right. Changing your perspective.

How you respond to the challenges of life can change how you feel and how others feel toward you.

ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING.

How you approach everyday, as a matter of fact, every situation, will truly determine the results you see. Other people will react to your reaction. I have found in life that the more positive I am the easier it is for others to respond the same way.

But that relationship works for the negative too. If I come at someone funky, I will likely get funky thrown right back at me.

There’s a scripture in the bible, “ A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength,” Proverbs 17:22.

Have a good spirit and spread that positive ATTITUDE.

D-Get a Drive. Always have something you’re driving toward. Something that challenges you to be the highest version of yourself.

When you wake up everyday do you have a purpose? Or is waking up just a routine to get through another day on earth until it’s time to call it quits?

God never intended for us to just show up. We were all placed here with a specific talent. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “ plan to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.

God’s plan is for you to keep working toward what he has placed inside you.

Always have a Drive and a Dream and never give up on YOU!!

E-Get your Energy right. Keep your body health and strong so you can operate at your highest level.

Exercise and Balanced healthy eating is a must.

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Never has healthy information been so easily accessible. The internet, and social media have opened the door to so much information there is absolutely NO EXCUSE. We can’t operate in our fullest potential if we are dog, dead tired or we have Chronic illness holding us back.

Keep your body working to its fullest potential. Think of your car; if you never give it regular maintenance will it operate well? Are you NOT more important to the future of the world?? You only get one body, use it well!

Keep these concepts in mind as you move through your day.

Do a little Self Care Checklist to determine if you are doing what you need for REAL self care.


Keep reaching for your Sweetest Life,

Stephanie J.

For more great info on self-care, follow Stephanie on:

Instagram.com @thesweetlifeofstephaniej

Youtube- @thesweetlifeofstephaniej

Blog-https://www.thesweetlifeofstephaniej.com/



Please be sure to like, comment, & share below. XO <3

It's not about who you think you are...

It's more...who you think you're not...

I know that there are times when we distort things in our own minds.

We tell ourselves things that aren't even true in moments of weakness, trial, or fear. These moments of mental self shaming can be very toxic towards the way we see ourselves, and the way we judge others. Facing these moments head on & coming to terms with toxic patterns will help you change your life and your ability to reach new levels of success and achievement. 

I thought about some of the most common roadblocks that I see my clients experience. And I want to be sure you're not letting these things hold you back. 

Believing that you have limited power vs. Unlimited.

Nothing limits your potential and your ability to succeed like self-doubt. You tell yourself you can’t or you should not dare.

These self-limiting beliefs will quickly derail you, convincing you that you don’t have what it takes to be successful.

These are triggered & amplified by things going badly. It happens! If you allow self-limiting beliefs to rule your thoughts, they will take over and live there, never becoming the person you were meant to be. So, instead of telling yourself you can’t, ask “How can I…?” 

Afraid to change.

There's an old saying "if it's not broke, don't fix it". This correlates with a newer one that I refer to as "stuck on stupid".

Change is absolutely good. You should always seek to level up; in education/knowledge, new systems, brand building... Change is inevitable, and we should embrace it. Success is created from innovation and problem solving. Getting comfortable with the familiar & sticking to what's working eventually gets you left behind. 

Don't let fear of change keep you from taking risks and seizing opportunities.

Hanging on too long.

You have built it, renamed, revamped, redesigned, and still...it's just not coming together. When you find yourself in a situation where you're forcing the pieces together, it's time to move on. 

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The problem may not be in what you're looking to build. But rather, the way you're building it. 

The reason we opened The Agency is because we reach entrepreneurs daily who're frustrated from not seeing the rewards of their ongoing labors pan out. If you're struggling to see results, invest in your brand! 

Feeling like a fraud.

As much as I've done in my businesses, life, and even with my boys (who are the awesomest!)... this one still gets me every now and then. 

No matter how much we achieve, how successful we are, or how much others look up to us... many of us suffer from a deep-seated belief that we’re really frauds.

We feel like actors, playing a part we don’t really live up to. 

This pattern of thinking is called imposter syndrome; when you doubt the validity of your own accomplishments and have a fear of being seen as a fraud. It’s often triggered by a new accomplishment, like having a six figure launch or reaching a milestone. You begin to feel that you don’t deserve it or didn’t really earn this achievement.

Imposter syndrome can be linked to anxiety, depression and self-doubt. It can cause you to procrastinate or even avoid taking risks altogether, and can impact your business and success...because you feel you must continually prove yourself. 

Like seriously; if you can own your faults, you can own your wins

You are NOT a fraud. You're simply too focused on what others will think of you for owning those wins

Don't be your worst enemy. Realize that you have the power to change your own life with every breath you take. Your successes are real. And if you remember nothing else from this message...Remember, your power is limitless.

XO, Tori

SHARING IS CARING. LIKE, COMMENT, & SHARE✨💎

We're Superheroes. We. Are. Superheroes.

I know a thing or two about self doubt...It starts with something small, tingling in the back of your mind.

Maybe you lost a client, a sale fell through or you're struggling to secure that very first order. Or maybe it was something someone said that made you second guess everything that you know you know.

Your mind starts to create every possible scenario of failure and worst possible outcomes. It feels so real that you can feel your heart accelerate & perspiration take over. You try to focus on something else but within minutes you’ve officially jumped on the negative train. There it is, you’ve officially entered complete panic mode.

Worry, doubt and fear are all emotions most consider pretty negative; but for entrepreneurs, worry and fear can be particularly tough because they can have a direct impact on your livelihood.

The good news is fear and worry can also be helpful. Your worries around financial failure, rejection and opportunity costs may be the perfect fuel you need to get moving and take action! So, whenever you feel worry or fear creeping in... call on one of these strategies to keep you in go mode, and the doubts far behind you.

1. Use it to plan accordingly

While fears and worry can certainly feel real, most worries are set in the future. The scenarios you are imagining haven’t even happened yet. Which means you can implement strategies right now & take action to avoid them becoming real. Face what scares you and develop a plan of action to avoid the undesired outcome! Your initial fears that triggered worry can be a great signal that something needs to change. Dig deep, figure out what’s really bothering you, then make some changes. 

2. Give worry a deadline.

Even if you find limited value in your worrying, you still need to cut yourself off or you risk becoming unproductive. OR even worse, giving life to fear & worry! Placing a limit on your worries is not about suppressing fearful feelings but about giving them limited space and time in your life. You only have so much time, energy and focus in a day so don't waste those resources on worry. Give yourself permission to work through the emotion, then set a deadline then get off the worry train. 

 

3. Reach for gratitude.

I get it...it can be tough to be grateful when things feel all messed up & you haven't seen the growth you want or the changes you'd like in your life. Let me give you my biggest life hack; practicing gratitude for what you already have. For the fact that you are here and able to pursue this big dream of entrepreneurship at whatever level you're in. It's a gift.

By focusing on the things you are grateful for, you automatically create more space for uplifting thoughts and less room the negativity clouding your mind. Take a moment and think about something -- anything you are grateful for right now. Even if it’s just your health, a good cup of coffee or the fact that you own your own business. And if your business isn't making you tons of money yet, find gratitude in every small step forward. Major shift.

4. Create and repeat a fearless affirmation or habit.

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Replace your fear-filled thoughts to break the fear cycle. Try creating an affirmation you tell yourself whenever you begin to worry. Make it simple but meaningful. Something like, "I have unlimited power. I just have to tap into it & give it life." Or "I was given this mountain to show others that it can be moved." If affirmations aren’t your style, create an actual physical habit to shake up your mental state.

 

One of my favorite things to do is from one of my favorite shows, Grey's Anatomy. The "superhero pose".

I will oftentimes do it when I'm feeling a bit nervous or unsure and I need to choose the best direction. There's something about that pose...It's like giving myself the freedom & courage to believe in myself, my choices, & my ability to make great choices. 

I aways feel assured & confident, and ready to take on anything. There's a POWER in this silent, but bold declaration!

Entrepreneurship is far more of a mental battle than most recognize. While most business owners know fear and worry are a natural part of an entrepreneurs' path, it certainly doesn't make it any easier. When you focus on fear & worry, you create self doubt. Self doubt swells in an ungrateful atmosphere. When you tap into your inner superhero, you feel scared, but you do what it takes anyway.

Shift your focus. 

This is an ongoing journey. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small. 

And remember: We are Superheroes.

XO, Tori

 

Choice Fatigue Is A Real Thing.

Choice fatigue is real and must be mitigated when possible.

Steve Jobs was known for wearing a pair of blue jeans and a plain black turtleneck. Mark Zuckerberg wears blue jeans and a grey t-shirt.

By eliminating the burden of having to select an outfit each morning, both entrepreneurs freed themselves to focus on more meaningful decisions. That is, choice fatigue; you know. Those things we add to our day that drain us before we even get going...like the morning glam routine.

This is actually a real thing.

I would literally have a 2 hour routine each morning which involved full on makeup, cute outfit, and hair curling every morning. The hair curling, forget about it!

These 30 inches will not blow-dry & rod curl themselves, hunni, okkkurrrr!

But if I began at 8am, that meant I wasn't really ready to go downstairs to my office and get to work before 10 (if I'm lucky). 

I had to ask myself why the hell did I need a glam session each morning, when I work from home, and no one except the boys even see me?

Beyond that, why did those who did see me need to get Posh Tori every time? Was Tori not good enough...?

And so, instead of the full on rod curling, I went for the natural look. I bought some super cute, but super comfy lounge wear to work in (thank you, Fashion Nova), and stopped pressuring myself to get dolled up each morning. 

This has actually helped me with my workout routine as well. So instead of glamming out first thing in the morning...

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I treat my face to a great cleansing routine. Then I head over to the gym with my baby boy. And come home, make a quick fruit drink concoction, wash up, and get downstairs and to work by 8. 

I feel better. I'm looking better. And I've taken the pressure of perfection off.

I’m not suggesting that you donate your wardrobe, or stop going glam...this is me here.

But I do suggest that you think about the many unnecessary decisions you force yourself to make each day. Understand why you're making those choices.

So what can you have ready each evening? How can you prepare in advance for the following day to set yourself up for success?

See if you can design a morning routine that requires fewer decisions so you can focus your energy on what really matters to your professional success.

Added bonus: I don't go glam daily.

Of course, I want to have a great look for live streams & video content, because let's be clear...I am still Posh Tori, glammed up or not.

But I'm recording all of my content on live days. Only once or twice a week; Total productivity hack! 

Think about how you can implement productivity hacks into your day.

What can you do to let go of habits in your routine that slow up your productivity?

How can you get more self care into your routine?

And more productivity?

 

 

 

Focusing on looks isn't as superficial as it sounds when it comes to your brand.

When creating a brand, it’s good to remember that iconography and design play a tremendous role in the success of that brand. 

The first part is your name of course. I mean, you're going to have it forever, right?

So think long & hard about how it will transition & last over time, as opposed to a trendy name. 

Next, you will want to come up with a logo design that matches.

You may need some ideas here from the design team to help you here, because many times you do need an outside eye with expertise in pulling all elements together.

Sure, solid marketing plans and business plans are just as important. But what’s key to remember here is that you can’t have just one without all the others. Everything has to be working together in perfect harmony.

 

If you’re a small business, the odds are already stacked against you. For now, however, let’s concentrate on the role design plays in the success of a business.  

Interestingly, for all the work we do to perfect our design, you really only have just two-tenths of a second.

That’s the amount of time that, according to research done at the Missouri University of Science and Technology, people looking at a website for the first time took to form a first impression.

The good news is that thanks to our Founder, we now have an Ad Agency that can assist you with affordable options, and even payment plans, to help you in your design plans. And with that much talent at your fingertips, you’d better utilize it -- otherwise, your two-tenths of a second won’t be creating any lasting first impressions.

But that’s just for logo work. What about your website or landing pages? Ebook covers & branded graphics?

Well, that two-tenths rule still works -- and if any one is poorly designed, you’ll be creating lasting bad first impressions.

Pretty isn’t the single aim here. In fact, it’s a rookie mistake many business people make.

Imagine going to a website that looks pretty but seems to be missing key information. Your first reaction will probably be frustration (not a great emotion to be creating around a brand) and your second will be to go back to Google to find someone else that can help you out (specifically, one of your competitors). If people are constantly visiting your FAQ page, your visitors most likely aren't finding the information they are looking for easily.

Design is worth the time and money because it has a proven return on investment. The more attractive your website or feed is, the more likely visitors will be to shop with you. At the end of the day, the three key pillars of a thriving business that people rarely consider are design, function and usability.

Design will draw people in and, if done well enough, keep them there.

How to get it all to work together...

First off, you have to understand the purpose of the design. Great design tells a story -- it can unify your brand and drive innovation too.

Secondly, remember the importance of design. Not everyone working in every field (outside of design) understands how important it is, so you’ll need to understand the impact it has on your visitors.

What you'll need when developing Brand Identity:

1. A Well-designed logoIf it’s cheap, you look cheap. Your brand looks cheap. Create something instantly recognizable, uncomplicated and very memorable.

2. Color: Have a palette created for you inside of a brand board. Use colors that speak to your energy, product and brand. A great logo and color palette can set you apart as they burn themselves into the customer’s eye.

3. Graphics: Fantastic graphics can make a website much more attractive. And this will be important with your branded graphics as well.

Be sure these things align together well. You've only got 2 tenths of a second; make them count! Being good-looking isn’t as superficial as it sounds.

 

Sharing is caring!

Please be sure to Like, Comment, Share!

XO, Tori

Self-Care and the Solopreneur

Self-Care and The Solopreneur, by Andrienne Kennedy

The term self-care seems to have appeared from thin air and has easily become one of the buzzwords of 2018.  But what really is self-care? Well, that depends on who you ask.

To one person the answer will be getting a mani and pedi, and to another person it may be something like going to Starbucks for a tall iced coffee.

Dictionary.com defines self-care as “care of the self without medical or other professional consultation.”

Self-care is whatever a person decides they want it to be.  These are the things that make them feel good. This is the way that they show themselves some much needed love. Have you considered the idea of mental self-care?  

 

As an entrepreneur, who is new in business, I must tell you how important it is to take some time out and care for your mind.

This laptop lifestyle can at times, be lonely, and in many cases, we are faced with decisions and situations that leave us doubting ourselves and our businesses all together.  

Add on top of that all the external stressors outside of your business. That is why taking time out for some mental self-care is so very important.

 

Below are a few tips on how to get started with a mental self-care routine.

 

1.       Know that your peace of mind and mental health are important.

 

2.       Schedule some time in between the conference calls, podcasts, and website building with yourself so that you can do a “check in”. This check-in can be a 10 min pow-wow that you have with yourself to assess all that is going on with you and your business.

3.       Stop. Take some time to stop what you are doing and engage in an activity that you enjoy.  Let’s look for things that are low or no cost. This can be reading a book or taking some time to get a few minutes outdoors.  This time away from your business will allow you to clear your mind, so that when you get back to work, you will be fresh and ready to go with new ideas.

 

4.       Analyze your inner circle.  Does your inner circle constantly complain, or shoot down your ideas and dreams for your business? If your answer is yes, then maybe it is worth looking at ways you can establish boundaries in those relationships.

 

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5.       Consume positive material.  This could be daily affirmations, podcasts, or inspirational books.  The goal here is to bombard your brain with positive messages.

 

It takes a certain kind of person to make the brave decision to go solo.  

But to get the job done, you must take care of your mind.

Nothing is going to happen if your mind is not right.

 

For more on mental health, wellness, and mental illness follow Andrienne on IG @beautifulbraincollective 

 

It's really all about positioning💎

So, quick story...

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In 2006, I met Khloe Kardashian for the first time. And while people have their very strong feelings for & against the family as a whole, it was epic for my business.

I'd been designing pieces for about 4 years. And I was making good money doing it. Designing maybe 20-25 pieces each month @ around $500-$1000 per piece. 

There were a lot of people who came out of nowhere right after I started getting successful.

So I knew that to keep up my current reign as the Queen of all things Bling, I needed to always stay true to who I was as a designer. I created a very niche market & made designs that people could try to duplicate - but they failed at it miserably.

And my style, logo, website, & brand voice was so unique & on point...I am certain that I annoyed the crap out of most, LOL.😍

With all the pink & sparkles & unicorns...I mean, really. 

 

But...this is what gave me a unique place in the bling industry, as it would later come to be a huge and ongoing trend. 16 years later, I still sell bling every single day

That chance meeting of Khloe would only help me to grow my brand and position myself as the place where "the most glamorous girls in the world get iced" (my tagline). 

So of course, when DVF wanted a company to create the bling demos for her sunglass line, they called us. When Project Runway wanted blinded out scissors for Season 10, they called us. And when any celebrity wanted a custom 3d, chunky, glammed out cell phone case, wall mirror, kitchen appliance, shoes, keys, license borders, lighters, flip flops, jackets, etc...They. Called. Us

That's how I stood out & remained a force in my industry. 

I built a strong brand presence that my target customer lived for! And so, it didn't matter what other people popped up! My customers were loyal to Bling.

And that's more important now than ever...create a brand that resonates so well with your target audience, that no matter who comes or goes, they are only searching for you.

The Agency @ThePoshGirlsClub has every service you need to begin building your brand presence.

Book your one on one free consult and let's talk about your vision for yours.

XO, Tori ✨💎
CEO, #POSHGIRLS

Will the hashtag ever be known as a pound sign again? 

Will the hashtag ever be known as a pound sign again?

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The popularity and predominance of the hashtag has grown over the last few years and their use is an every day occurrence for most who utilize social media.

Those who love them use them in a variety of ways. With a potential audience of millions on Instagram, who wouldn’t try to squeeze a few into a post to increase exposure and engagement? 

 

Especially for those of us (me included) who use hashtags to tell a story. It’s like a story within a story when it fills in #whats #missing within a sentence. 

 

A hashtag’s effectiveness is dependent on a number of factors, and the hacks of the ‘hashtag game’ are constantly being revamped. Their usefulness is endless once you understand the principals of how hashtags have the ability to discover and connect you with your target audience. 

A few tips that I’ve learned over time can help you increase the chances that your post or story is seen by more viewers outside of those who follow you. 

 

The numbers don’t lie. It’s always important to research the number of posts that are under each hashtag you use.

If you’re using a hashtag with more than 400,000-500,000 posts, the chances are dramatically higher that your post will be seen by more viewers than if you were to use a hashtag with 1 million or more posts. Setting up footprints with your hashtags is the best way to look at the marketing strategy that is more effective long-term.

By using hashtags with smaller numbers, you’re almost ensuring that your post will be noticed for weeks or even months to come versus disappearing after a few hours with a hashtag with larger numbers.

The more visually appealing the post is, again the likelihood increases that it will be placed as a top post within that hashtag, and the audience share becomes even greater from there. 

While we’re on the subject of numbers, the number of hashtags to use will also set you apart and get you noticed when leveraged correctly.

The limit for a post is 30 hashtags, and the limit for a story is 10 hashtags. You’ll notice better engagement by not adding the full limit of hashtags each time you add a post.

Stopping short of each limit is a better choice to increase the viewership. 25 or less hashtags for each post and 1 hashtag for each story gives a better chance that your content won’t be seen as spammy by Instagram. 

The most important tip to staying on top of your hashtag game is to monitor your hashtags. At any time, your favorite hashtag may no longer be trending or it could grow to having a number of posts over time that’s no longer beneficial to your likelihood for exposure.

It could have grown to have over a million posts within it, or a trend could change the results you’re receiving when choosing to use it in your group of proven hashtags. It’s always best to research your list of hashtags every few months to decide whether or not to update and redesign your list. 

The same way the pound sign has been considered obsolete and replaced by the term ‘hashtag’, the same can happen to the tags we use.

The best defense for any entrepreneur is to stay ahead of the curve by keeping yourself informed of social media trends to determine where to weave your creativity and brand voice. 

Article by Wendy Maier. Wendy is a member of our Design & Social Media Management firm @ThePGC Agency. See some of her Social Media Management options here.  

Follow Wendy @TheAutomatedLife


Brand Identity with The AGENCY

We love brand building!

This is the place where we get to help you create a tangible brand presence.

That is, a unique concept for your brand. Something that sets you apart from every other business on the market!

Then, a consistent visual appearance across all social media platforms that connect back to your place on the web; your website. 

Your Brand Identity is the soul of your business.

It's the core of  what pulls in your target customer. And it's the lasting impression you leave on them...essentially "what people say about you when you're not in the room".

In my experience as a brand strategist, this is the step that many brands skip.

And so, they are not brands.

But rather, people online, randomly selling their products to make a buck.

Brand building takes thought, preparation, focus, and is mission & value focused.

It's what you want to leave in the world. Who you want to grow to become, and what legacy you want to leave behind. 

People buy into the brand. Not the product. 

And if you understand this early on, you can sell products to your audience at every launch. Do you ever wonder how people achieve 6 and 7 figure launches?

Building a strong brand presence & targeted audience...That's how!

Have you thought about your Brand Identity?

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And by that, I mean...beyond colors & visuals.

Beyond the product you sell. Brands get partnerships with mega corporations based on their Identity. If you're an Influencer, your brand will get you partnerships over other Influencers. No matter what your industry is, you have to carve out a unique niche to be relevant!

The first step is to Build your Brand Identity. Begin here.

 

Brand strategies must change to attract new customers.

Attracting new customers is one of the biggest struggles new brands face.

With so many emerging businesses, it's not enough to offer a pop-up with a sale as a means to get that visitor the first time.

People want to know their options first. 

They want to investigate more into who you are and make comparisons with your competitors. Giving value first to the customer offers a unique experience for the visitor.

That is; instead of requesting that they sign up on your email by offering a discount, offer the visitor something of value. That can include options like a look book of your latest styles, a how to list, or a quick tutorial in exchange for their email.

This way, you get the opportunity to build a rapport with new potential customers as you begin making offers in line with their need, want, and desire. Combine value & offer emails that identify a specific issue or pain point. Show them that there is a solution for it. And inform them that you are the solution. 

Pain points apply to every business model. If your visitor is shopping for clothing, they don't have anything to wear. Makeup? They're seeking beauty & transformation. Real estate? They want to put down roots. Accessories? They want to be fashion forward. 

Deliver value first.

This strategy is a win for the business because you know that the customer is seeking that exact solution from you. 

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It's a win for the customer because they've received value that verifies the brand is right for them. 

You show them how you are knowledgeable, valuable, and trustworthy as a brand.

Think about how you can apply this to your own business.

Drop a comment below & share with us...How can you be more valuable?

Not sure? Even more reason to drop your comments below.

Ready to begin growing your brand? Start here.

XO, Tori ✨💎

What will they think of me?

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The fear of rejection is so strong that most people choose to live half versions of their lives rather than risk failing in public.

It's humiliating. You think, how will I ever recover? What will people say? Then there's the "who does she think she is" comments...Trust me, I get it. But there has to come a time in your life - to truly reach those goals - where you say, I want it more than I fear what people will think of me wanting it. Here's my process...

1. Face your fears.


Face what scares you head on.  Get your #PoshGirls Planner and make a concrete bullet list of all the things you’ve been avoiding because you’re afraid you’ll be rejected. Then, dig deeper, and add to your list all the things you really want - I call these your Wildest Dreams. These are all the things you don’t ask for, won’t ask for and perhaps are afraid to acknowledge you truly want.

You may want to be a big brand influencer for your favorite makeup brand. But you're thinking; "They work with the biggest Celebrities & Influencers. Why would the choose me?" Write it down.

Be honest about what you’re avoiding. Once you have the fears identified, you remove it from your head, where it's this huge monster just circling forever.

2. Welcome rejection.

Once you know what you’re afraid of...those things that you really want so badly (secretly, on the low), the next step is to literally face them. You wrote them down, look at them. 

For every fear that you wrote down in step one, write down a defined action that would be the opposite.

For example, are you avoiding going live because it totally freaks you out? Awesome. Make a plan to go live 3 times every week for the next month. Plan them, go impromptu, it doesn’t matter. Just make a plan to get out there and be seen! The reward comes in the actionable steps you take consistently.

Fear can be an incredible catalyst. It will force you to prepare because you don't want to make a complete ass of yourself. Over prepare. Run the script if you need to to one of your Socialite Biz Besties. Dive in, but be prepared! 

And guess what? Shit will still happen. It is what it is, keep it moving and understand that people know you are human. 

Be Human.

Be Human.

3. Let fear drive you.

Fear rears it's head in response to growth; it's a sign that opportunity is waiting for you if you would only be brave enough to acknowledge what you want and diligent enough to see it through.

 

I will share a vulnerability with you; when I originally had the vision to start ThePoshGirlsClub, I couldn't sleep for a good 12 days. Every night, I lay awake, doubting myself...thinking why would anyone want to learn anything from me? Telling myself you can't do this, this isn't going to work, this isn't the current culture of things, and so many other bullshit negatives. It would always be in the middle of the night, when I'm most vulnerable because my thoughts are more calm and I wasn't head deep in work like I am all day. 

That hour when fear and doubt and evil can creep in, giving me literal panic attacks. And I'm not even the type of person who has panic attacks! One night, I finally told it to #KnockItOff. Literally, out loud.

I know who I am, what I've done, and what my gifts are; because my gifts called me to do this. And that is the narrative I feed myself in my quiet moments. Gratitude and vision.

And now, I write the most outrageous goals down, just to spite that voice that "tries it". To let it know that I am audacious AF.

My fears drive me, because I insist on being unafraid.

One of the most amazing things about entrepreneurship is that it insists that we face that which scares us the most. That we push beyond our fears of rejection. And that we let conquering those fears be the blueprint to our greatest successes.

Be sure to like, comment, share...sharing is caring after all.

XO, Tori✨💎

 

The Business Plan For Beginners

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The biggest issue I would hear when we got new members into The Socialite community is "I don't know where to begin".

But this seems to be one of the biggest issues for many of the entrepreneurs we come across daily here @ThePoshGirlsClub.

There are lots of elements to consider while building your brand. Knowing where to dive in can be incredibly frustrating.

I put this video together to help you understand The Business Plan for your business.

Ready to get started building your business? Wherever you are, begin here.

Sharing is caring😍

Please like, comment, share...XO, Tori ✨💎

Your dreams are as realistic as the work you’re willing to put in.

Your dreams are as realistic as the work you’re willing to put in.

So how much work are you putting in?

Initially, you don’t have to do a lot. But you do have to be consistent - as in “everyday” consistent. Because there are so many things that everyday people like you and me have to deal with, that stand between us and reaching our goals. Every interruption is a challenges, though. And they’re asking us… 

“How bad do you want it? How much work will you still put in?”

How much work are you putting in?

Success is the daily work you put in. It’s the excuses you ignore. It’s the mornings you wake up after only a couple hours of sleep and you feel like hell and you still say, “This is going to be the best day of my life, because nothing can stop me from working.” 

That’s the mindset you gotta have.

But I have to give you fair warning: there is actually one thing that can stop you from doing your daily work. That thing that can have you staring at a blank screen with the “I don’t know what to do” glare…

It’s whether you have a plan or not.

It doesn’t matter how inspired or ambitious you feel when you wake up. If you don’t have a plan; if you don’t have realistic and actionable goals to pursue, you will not follow through with your dreams.

I repeat: if you don’t have a plan, you will not follow through with your dreams. So start planning.

When you have a plan, and if you promise yourself to follow through with that plan and be the best you can each morning, you will do the work - no matter what happens in the day.

When you work, you move. When you move consistently, you have momentum. When you have momentum, you have confidence. When you have confidence, you do more work more willingly. You work better. And when you consistently work better, your results come pouring in like a flood.

When you’re inundated by the positive results of your daily efforts over weeks, months and years, that’s when you’re living your dream.

So how much work are you putting in? How often are you planning?

 

Click here to begin.

 

Sharing is caring! Please be sure to like, comment, share...

XO, Tori ❤️

Instagram For Entrepreneurs

The heart of your brand is made up of several key components:

WHO you serve. 

Who your ideal client is: The people that PAY you and the people that inspired you to create your business in the first place. 

Let's start with:

Your WHAT – how you uniquely make a difference in the world, the solutions your create, what you deliver on. 

This is your business' special sauce.

It's why only you can provide that product/service.

Your WHY – your business contributes something amazing to the world – in some capacity you make a difference and that’s inspiring (and the whole reason you got into business for yourself in the first place).

Once you’re clear about these 3 things, then you can start to develop (or fine tune) your products & product offers. And grow your email list. 

Ever experience those days of lags on Instagram where you can't post, comment, like, add stories...

Don't leave the Business of your Business in the hands of any social media platform.

Your social media does not belong to you.

Get your customer off of social media. Build your email l list. 

Get the Instagram For Business Masterclass  and learn how to make complete product offers & grow your list all at once.

 

Sharing is caring. Please like, share, comment XO, Tori ❤️

Most people completely miss this.

We are covering Influence extensively in The Socialite next month. 

Why? Influence is a game changer. 

I recently read an article that covered Kylie Jenner's massive Influence...

"The sequence of this massive growth was critical. Kylie started by establishing her personal brand first, before she endorsed or released any products on her own. Next, she created her own niche(USP!!!) within the family empire, different from her other siblings, and stayed focused there, with various endorsements and partnerships. Then, once those efforts had shown promising results, she launched her own line of “Lip Kits” -- in a limited run, at a premium price -- which sold out in minutes. 

Create influence. Build the audience. Offer them whatever you want..

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Now, I know what everyone says after this...that's Kylie Jenner, duh. Famous, rich Dad, Momager of all Momagers, Kris Jenner, and of course epic stardom of her sister, Kim. She had all of this to help put her on the map. 

But let's look a bit closer to home...

One of our first private group members, @Etniciti first came to us a few months back with around 4k followers.

At the time, she was using many of the same sales & marketing tactics that everyone else in her market was using.

I put together a strategic plan to help her brand stand out & developed the Unique Selling Proposition just for her. 

Fast forward a few months later; she has nearly 18k followers...her branded content (that I insisted she begin with when we first started her coaching) is constantly being reposted on major brand pages!

I mean, Targeted Influencers pages with MILLIONS of followers! And now, even JCPenny has reposted her branded content!

That's brand publicity that she did not buy. She was found because her Influence is catching hold in her market. As she continues, it's going to bring her lots more fans, influence, and sales!!! 

She's building an incredible, targeted audience who loves her beautiful unique products...and when she makes them offers...they'll be waiting! Your Influence is directly related to how you sell & how much you sell. In today's digital marketing, you have to embrace your content. 

We have a content planner to help you get started. Grab it here.

XO, Tori

 

You don't own me.

I was so that girl. Spent most of my life trying to please the people around me. Always worried about what people thought. Was I making the best grades, did I have the best socks (we wore uniforms, socks was the thing #dontjudgeme), was my hair perfect? Was I the most polite and beloved by all of the people in church? Did I score the highest on the test?

I mean seriously; seeking approval was all I ever knew. It became so toxic that if I came second place in a tournament (I was a Debate Champion), I couldn't sleep. I was literally the worst loser. And there it is again; I came in 2nd place in a statewide competition that I'd won several rounds to make it to...and I considered myself a loser. 

I had a parent who demanded that I give my best always. I mean, to the extreme. I couldn't just be an Honor Roll student. It had to be All A's. She required a lot from me. And so, as I grew, I believed that I had to be everything...Perfection.

That stayed with me as I grew into a young adult. And for that, I don't even blame her. I blame myself.

This inner war I was having  to be perfect is something that I did to myself. And then I repeated that in my (failed) marriage. I wrapped myself up, and put myself in the "love me, pick me, choose me category".

I viewed his cheating and complete & total lack of respect for me as somehow my fault. So I just kept "improving" myself & upping my game...which just meant I required less of him. 

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And at some point...that had to stop. There comes a point in life when that transition into adulthood has to step in. And I needed to take responsibility for everything within my control.

Initially, I chose to continue being a people pleaser; constantly letting that guilt of expectation rule everything I did (or did not do). 

And one day...I decided; no more. Like, literally, jumped out of bed, feet to the floor epiphany type shit.

Oh, for many of us, this will involve royally pissing off the parents like mine, who had such high demands & expectations. Those expectations led me to self indulgent behavior that I had to oust if I didn't want to end up with tons of regret and self pity.

What I took to heart was the fact that the expectation also made me who I am today. So how can I take the parts I am so proud of, while condemning the tough parenting experience; the parts I didn't understand, that also made me who I am? The person who would eventually say, no more. I'm doing it my way. You don't own me. 

My mindset shift came from lots of work. Not blaming, not judging. But simply by following some deliberate steps in coming into myself and what I wanted. It's called growing the fuck up.

It wasn't about defying my loved ones. More about allowing myself the freedom to become my own person. Not someone who had to be perfect for the world. Just the perfect version of myself, flaws and all. 

I created a Law of Attraction workbook with those steps & my process...shedding the expectation, shifting my mindset, and regaining my power. You can get a copy of my workbook that I created to help you with your mindset shift here.

Click here to Download.

Happy growing,

XO, Tori

Sharing is caring! Please like, share, & follow 

 

Let's talk #FACTS

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First of all, owning a Business is Hard Work
You will put in a LOT of time, energy and money. That means, if you are searching for freedom right now, keep searching, babe. Depending on the type of business you’re running, you will work during the day, weekends, nights and holidays, birthdays - all of that. Most certainly in the beginning. On the upside, you will learn that working 80+ hours for yourself is so much more freaking awesome than working 40plus hours for someone else. Fact.

There is a hustle like no other though; and if you believe that you are just going to do a drag & drop sales funnel, then wait for your Facebook Ad to do all the work, this is not for you.

You will for sure need to understand sales, digital marketing and branding (amongst a shit ton of other things). Even though you might hate crunching the numbers (like yours truly), you'll need to come to some place of contentment over it hella fast when it comes to accounting, bookkeeping, and taxes. Or at least employ some great tools & software to help you.

I don't care how many books you read or webinars or live events you sign up for either— the real learning will come from you digging in and doing the things

That's exactly why we started The Socialite. So that you can dig in, and do the things, with help. You will fail, you will forget, you will make mistakes, you will tire. But you mustn't quit. Here's why...

#MoreFacts Overnight Success is Total & Complete Bullshit
I was working my ass off for a good 4 years before anyone really gave a damn. Until Khloe Kardashian walked into our celebrity lounge, picked up one of my custom phones, and then stuck it to her ear for a photo, I was just a girl at home making shit. Seriously; I mean all day, everyday, that was me I described before. But when you want it, you want it. Nothing happens for anyone overnight. It comes from a series of daily, dedicated steps to get you where you need to be. Keep going, keep hustling.

#GoodFacts Origin Stories are Condensed. #FACT.
I know you've heard me say "I started in my living room, and took my business to the Red Carpet..." Yes, did you hear the part about how it was a good, solid 4 years before that happened? And it took a few years after that for the call from DVF. A few more before the BRAVO TV Housewives started hitting me up. Then Beyonce, Rihanna, Taylor Swift...it all took time, even though I condense that down to two sentences on my live streams. You must be in this for the long haul...

Then here's one of my favs...

“I make 6 figures using this, and doing that..” 

The part that always seems to be missing in so many of these stories is the how. How did I get to the MTV Awards backstage to meet Khloe Kardashian (I was invited out by a company because I built a bomb ass brand!)?  Why would Rihanna buy anything from me? I'm not a fashion designer! (She, like many celebrities,  found me through Word of Mouth by their stylists! I always knew who to make friends with! The celebrity won't ever think about you again. But their managers & entourage will!) And why in the world was I backstage, anyway? (It was my 2nd L.A. celebrity award show event!)

People want to know the how...the steps that it took to get there; the blueprint. And if you were paying attention, I dropped you some jewels on this in this short post.

So as you're curating content each day; as you work on your blogs & workbooks, your videos...think about the actual story. It's not the one where I met & designed for Khloe Kardashian. The story resides in all the work I did to get there.

Tell that story. 

Back soon,

XO, Tori

 

FYI: Nobody wants to see this.

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Sex And The City 20 years later. You Missed The Whole Point.

So this week marks 20 years since I first fell in love with Carrie Bradshaw, and Sex and the City.

I've already read a few articles talking about how women back then missed the mark. That they engaged in too much casual sex, didn't take relationships seriously, and are now 20 years later in regret of what Carrie and her girl gang brought to the world. Let me tell you...these writers have clearly missed the whole point!

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Like are you kidding me? This was the show that defined my adolescence/ young adult-hood! They gave us the original girl gang! They taught us independence & friendship bonds beyond casual acquaintances. 

Honestly, the only thing missing was a bit of diversity! This squad was the envy of any girl squad to ever do it!

For me, Sex and the City was about women taking their power back. Not falling into the same, methodical role of women who got used by men and had to love on someone else terms. You know, the women who to take the scraps of "love and affection" that they were allocated.

It was about women who could have an orgasm and not feel bad about it, the way so many of us had been taught to. 

Beyond that though, it was about seeking self fulfillment. And understanding that as a woman, your life doesn't begin and end with a man. 

BUT; if you are really a woman who wants and gets it all...you end with untamed self discovery. That as a woman, you CAN have it all.  

You can end up with the life you want and work for, and the man of your dreams. 

Your Big. Someone who knows that you are wild and free spirited. But also, the one who will find his place along your journey (for a change). And be more than willing to go along for the ride.

So to those women who are now writing about the fact that Sex and the City missed the mark...let me tell you; I was there. I was here for it. And I am so fucking proud of my inner Miranda who drove me to be an incredible entrepreneur and business BOSS. My inner Charlotte who kept me in tune with the girly girl hopeful side of myself, wishing and prepping for the perfect family. The inner Samantha; who taught me to be free to express myself and own my sexuality. And my dear, sweet Carrie; the one who embodies all the deepest parts of me; living my dream life with my dream career, while also giving me desire and hopefulness that my Mr. Big is still out there.

The one who, despite all his (and my) flaws, would find himself right back where he belonged. In the arms of the one woman who would not take his shit. And who would love all the broken parts, just as they are. Isn't that the whole point...?

#Absofuckinglutely. 

Looking for your fierce, ride or die, business bestie girl gang...?

Join ours! #TheSocialite

XO, Tori