The fear of rejection is so strong that most people choose to live half versions of their lives rather than risk failing in public.
It's humiliating. You think, how will I ever recover? What will people say? Then there's the "who does she think she is" comments...Trust me, I get it. But there has to come a time in your life - to truly reach those goals - where you say, I want it more than I fear what people will think of me wanting it. Here's my process...
1. Face your fears.
Face what scares you head on. Get your #PoshGirls Planner and make a concrete bullet list of all the things you’ve been avoiding because you’re afraid you’ll be rejected. Then, dig deeper, and add to your list all the things you really want - I call these your Wildest Dreams. These are all the things you don’t ask for, won’t ask for and perhaps are afraid to acknowledge you truly want.
You may want to be a big brand influencer for your favorite makeup brand. But you're thinking; "They work with the biggest Celebrities & Influencers. Why would the choose me?" Write it down.
Be honest about what you’re avoiding. Once you have the fears identified, you remove it from your head, where it's this huge monster just circling forever.
2. Welcome rejection.
Once you know what you’re afraid of...those things that you really want so badly (secretly, on the low), the next step is to literally face them. You wrote them down, look at them.
For every fear that you wrote down in step one, write down a defined action that would be the opposite.
For example, are you avoiding going live because it totally freaks you out? Awesome. Make a plan to go live 3 times every week for the next month. Plan them, go impromptu, it doesn’t matter. Just make a plan to get out there and be seen! The reward comes in the actionable steps you take consistently.
Fear can be an incredible catalyst. It will force you to prepare because you don't want to make a complete ass of yourself. Over prepare. Run the script if you need to to one of your Socialite Biz Besties. Dive in, but be prepared!
And guess what? Shit will still happen. It is what it is, keep it moving and understand that people know you are human.
3. Let fear drive you.
Fear rears it's head in response to growth; it's a sign that opportunity is waiting for you if you would only be brave enough to acknowledge what you want and diligent enough to see it through.
I will share a vulnerability with you; when I originally had the vision to start ThePoshGirlsClub, I couldn't sleep for a good 12 days. Every night, I lay awake, doubting myself...thinking why would anyone want to learn anything from me? Telling myself you can't do this, this isn't going to work, this isn't the current culture of things, and so many other bullshit negatives. It would always be in the middle of the night, when I'm most vulnerable because my thoughts are more calm and I wasn't head deep in work like I am all day.
That hour when fear and doubt and evil can creep in, giving me literal panic attacks. And I'm not even the type of person who has panic attacks! One night, I finally told it to #KnockItOff. Literally, out loud.
I know who I am, what I've done, and what my gifts are; because my gifts called me to do this. And that is the narrative I feed myself in my quiet moments. Gratitude and vision.
And now, I write the most outrageous goals down, just to spite that voice that "tries it". To let it know that I am audacious AF.
My fears drive me, because I insist on being unafraid.
One of the most amazing things about entrepreneurship is that it insists that we face that which scares us the most. That we push beyond our fears of rejection. And that we let conquering those fears be the blueprint to our greatest successes.
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